i think my tv is drunk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
