ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
