she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
