i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
