New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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