My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
