I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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