I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
