This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Come on in and take your pants off
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
