I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
