whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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