last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
