It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
