Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
