you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
