you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
