Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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