I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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