My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
