Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
