Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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