I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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