He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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