I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
