I hate your face
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
