we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
