I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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