you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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