I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
