It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
