the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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