I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
