So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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