we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
