I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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