Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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