i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
