it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
