Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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