Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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