After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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