Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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