um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
