Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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