You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
