your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
MIDGETS
????
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
