did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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