Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im holly from the hills drunk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
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