i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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