Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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